Question:

 What is the meaning behind the ritual washing of hands before meals? Was this some ancient Jewish version of hygiene?

Answer:

One of the laws of the hand washing ritual is that the hands must already be completely clean before you wash them.  You first clean the hands of any dirt, and only then do you pour water from a cup over each hand three times.

This is ridiculous: the prerequisite to washing hands is that they be clean?! The ritual washing of hands has no visible effect. It seemingly does nothing. So why do we do it?

The hand washing before meals has nothing to do with hygiene. It is not about cleanliness. It is about holiness.

Cleanliness is a physical state. By removing dirt you become clean. But holiness is an entirely spiritual concept. Holiness means a sense of something beyond, something higher, something with a higher purpose. You can be completely clean, but that doesn’t mean you’re holy.

You can have two business people who work side by side. They are both honest and good people. They are both clean. There is no visible difference between them. And yet one uses his wealth to help the poor and needy, while the other accumulates wealth purely for himself and his family. He is clean. He is not a bad man. But he is not holy.

You can have two plates of food. Both are made of healthy ingredients and prepared to the highest standards of hygiene. There is no visible difference between them. And yet one plate is kosher food, the other not. Kosher food is not healthier or cleaner. It is holy. It is prepared according to divine standards with a higher purpose in mind.

You can have two pairs of hands. Both have been cleaned and are spotless. And yet one hand has been ritually washed, the other not. There is no detectable difference between them. But these hands are holy, those are not.

Holiness means connecting to something higher. It means living with an awareness that not all dirt is visible, and we don’t always see the effect of our actions. So before engaging in physical activity, before consuming the fruit of our handiwork, we wash our hands. They may be clean already, but we must ensure that they are pure and holy too.

Question:

 Quick question: why do you dip the challah in salt?

 Quick Answer:

 In the Temple in Jerusalem, every sacrifice was accompanied by salt. The salt symbolised our indestructible connection to G-d. Just as salt never goes bad, so too G-d’s love for us never spoils. Even if we have done wrong and need to bring an offering to seek forgiveness, we are still as lovable as ever, for there is a part of the soul that always remains pure.

Without the Temple, our dinner table becomes the altar, and our meals the sacrifices. And so we dip our bread in salt. We are reminded that no matter what wrong we may have done, no matter how bad the mistakes we may have made, there is still hope for us. Even if we don’t forgive ourselves G-d forgives us. Because like salt, G-d’s love is undying.

All the best,

Rabbi Moss.

Question:

My Jewishness is making it harder for me to find love. The more I get involved in Jewish life, the less options I have for girls to date. To be honest, it is making me hesitate before becoming more observant. What should I do, take on more Judaism and limit my options, or keep my options open and put the Jewish thing on hold?

Answer:

It depends what you are looking for. If you are just after a partner, any partner that suits, then it is a simple numbers game, and the more options in front of you the better chances you have. If you have a wider pool of potential partners, the odds are higher that you will be successful in your search. In this equation, the vaguer you are about yourself, the more potential partners you will find.

But that’s only if you are merely looking for a partner. If you are looking for your soulmate it’s another story entirely.

Your soulmate is the other half of your soul, the missing part of your very being. You can only recognise your soulmate if you first get to know your own soul. When you know where you are going in life, when you are clear on your own identity, when you know who you really are, then and only then are you equipped to identify the other half of your soul.

Some people have it backwards. They think that when it comes to describing whom you’re looking for, you need a long and detailed list of specifications, but when it comes to describing who you are, you are better off being blurry and general. The opposite is true. Know yourself and your own soul. Explore your Jewish identity and become comfortable with it. You are not limiting your options, you are refining your search.

Question:

My grandmother always told me not to walk around the house in just socks and no shoes. Is there anything to this or is it a bubbemaise superstition?

Answer:

There is no law that forbids you to walk around in socks. But our sages teach us to never ignore the sayings of our grandmothers, for there is always some wisdom in them. Indeed, your grandmother’s aversion to shoelessness does have some basis.

Jewish law states that one who is mourning the loss of a loved one removes their shoes. Thus walking around in socks makes you look like a mourner, and we don’t even want to look like a mourner. This is part of a general Jewish attitude to death. We don’t like it. We do whatever we can to stay away from it.

There are many Jewish customs that stem from the desire to avoid anything associated with death. Some people don’t sleep with their feet facing the door, because that is how a corpse lies before burial. We don’t speak about what will happen when someone dies, but rather what will happen “after 120 years.” We wash our hands after attending a funeral, to rid ourselves of the impurity of the cemetery.

This dislike of death is not so much a superstition as an allergy. Our tradition trains us to love life and be allergic to death. Unlike some traditions that venerate death as an ideal and view life as a wretched curse, the Jewish tradition cherishes life as a blessing. Through customs that distance us from death and its trappings, the Jewish people has inculcated a worldview that is life-affirming and this-world focused.

Your grandmother had a point. Death is a part of life. But it need not be given any more space than necessary. Keep your shoes on.

All the best,

Rabbi Moss.

Question:

What is Judaism’s take on looking into our future? I’ve always been under the impression that it is forbidden for us to consult with spiritual ‘mediums’, but more and more I’m hearing of people who are paying big money to find out what their future may hold. Is it possible to know our destiny?

Answer:

The Torah forbids looking into the future, not because it isn’t possible to do, but because it isn’t a good idea.

There are indeed ways to divine the future. There are Jewish sources that speak of things like horoscopes and palm reading. The problem is not that these are false (though many practitioners of them are), it is that there is a danger when they are used to predict the future.

These readings can do nothing more than predict someone’s destiny based on current circumstances. The way things stand now, if all variables remain unchanged, this is your fate. What they can’t predict is human free choice.

We have the ability to choose our path, to change our destiny and to outsmart fate. We are not bound to a future that is out of our control. While we can’t change the forces of destiny, we can change ourselves. When a person improves themselves, becomes a better person, then they are now a new being with a new destiny. The human power to change is a variable no seer can predict.

 This is why we are better off not knowing what is in store for us. Because once we hear it, we may become stuck in the belief that our future is set. And this itself may affect our future negatively, as our will to change and freedom to choose becomes paralysed.

 If I am told that my future is all good, I will have wealth and love and happiness, this knowledge may make me complacent and lazy, expecting these things to just come on their own. But they will not. If I want wealth I need to work, if I want to find love I need to meet people, if I want happiness I need to live a life of meaning. G-d may want to bestow much good upon me, but it won’t happen without my effort.

 So too if I am given a negative prognosis, if I am told that I am destined to suffer and be sick, then the worry and anxiety caused by such a prediction can itself lead to the suffering and sickness I am dreading. The prediction becomes self-fulfilling, as I give in to a fate that need not be mine.

 For these reasons and more, you are better off leaving the future for tomorrow and focusing on today. If you do that, I predict good things in store for you.

All the best,

Rabbi Moss.

Question:

Many thanks to you and your wife for Friday night dinner. We had a great time. I just had one question. I noticed you have a huge picture of your Rebbe, Rabbi Schneersohn, on the wall. I don’t mean to be rude, but is this type of reverence appropriate? Isn’t he just another human being?

 Answer:

 Yes, the Rebbe was just a human being. That’s exactly why I revere him.

 Here was a man who was at the same time a world leader and a personal confidant. He received up to one thousand letters a day and opened each one himself, advised concerned parents of unwell children and singles searching for life-partners with the exact same love and attention as he advised presidents and prime-ministers on matters of state, had the vision to set up a global web of institutions to rebuild Jewish life after the Holocaust, promoted family values and moral living for the non-Jewish world, was as fluent in the sciences as he was in Torah wisdom and found G-d in both, healed the sick with his blessings, and answered people’s questions before they even asked them, took the responsibility of the world on his shoulders, but had time to respond to the questions of a child.

 These are just a sample of his qualities. And what makes the Rebbe so special was that he was human. For a superhuman to achieve all the above is no big deal. They don’t have to work hard to become heroes. But for a human being of flesh and blood to reach such heights is nothing short of amazing.

 That’s why I have a picture of the Rebbe on my wall. It always reminds me of what a human can achieve. I will never be a Rebbe, but I can certainly strive to do more than I am presently doing to better myself and the world. The Rebbe inspires me to do this.

 I only saw the Rebbe once. But it is due to his influence that I am today an active and proud Jew. His profound teachings and compelling vision inspired me to become a rabbi. Otherwise, who knows, I may have been a B-grade trapeze artist or struggling plumber’s assistant. The very fact that I am writing these words and you are reading them is thanks to the Rebbe and his vision.

 From the Rebbe’s teachings I have learnt what G-d is. From his life I have learnt what humans can be.

All the best,

Rabbi Moss.

Question:

 What do you say to this Gaza flotilla episode? Did you see the real story behind it on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/user/idfnadesk ? As usual the media and world opinion condemns Israel for defending itself. When will truth prevail?

 Answer:

In the battle for truth, there is an important lesson we can learn from the Hebrew language.

The word for truth in Hebrew is Emet. The word for falsehood is Sheker. Both words are made up of three Hebrew letters. The difference is that the three letters of Emet are the first, middle and last letters of the alphabet (aleph, mem, tav), while the letters that make up Sheker (shin, kuf, reish) are consecutive letters, bunched together in the alphabet.

The holy tongue is here giving a profound insight into the difference between truth and falsehood. Truth is a broad and all-encompassing perspective, while falsehood is no more than a misleading and narrow snapshot.

To know the truth you need to know the full picture, from beginning to end. You cannot understand a situation without knowing the background, the events that led to it. And you don’t know whether an event is a victory or a defeat until its consequences unravel.

On the other hand, to view a scene in isolation, out of context, ignorant of the facts and unaware of the backdrop, will invariably lead to false impressions.

Sadly, modern mainstream media is prone to falsehood. Catchy sound bites, dramatic images, angry reactions and loose accusations are far more newsworthy than lengthy explanations, detailed analysis and historic perspective. In the grab for airtime, a tedious truth will not compete with a flotilla of falsehood.

But in the end truth will prevail. This crisis, like others before, will pass. People of good will and integrity around the world are already seeing beyond the false headlines. Newspapers are disposable, and for good reason. Truth is not.

All the best,

Rabbi Moss.

Question:

Our dream to move to Israel is finally becoming reality. We are making aliyah next month. I know it will be challenging. Any advice?

Answer:

Israel is unlike any other country in the world. Every other place you could live, as long as you like it there all is fine. But with Israel it isn’t enough that you like it there. Israel has to like you too.

Israel is a land with a soul of its own. It is the Holy Land, the place of divine blessing. If Israel finds you worthy, she shares her blessing with you, and no matter how hard life gets there, you will feel at home. But if you are undeserving of her holiness, you won’t feel settled there for long.

The move to Israel is called making aliyah, which means “going up.” This is not merely because Israel has a higher altitude to its surrounding countries. You need to go up to Israel because Israel is one step closer to heaven than the rest of the world. To reach Israel you need to be going upwards in your spiritual life.  It is a land of higher spiritual frequency that has little tolerance for stagnant souls. Only those who are willing to grow can feel at home there.

So along with all the paperwork and preparations for moving, prepare your soul for the journey ahead. Take a step up in your own spirituality by choosing a new mitzvah to observe, and taking on a new project of Torah study. The aliyah ascent begins now, long before you set foot in the Holy Land.

Life in Israel is not always easy. But for a soul on the way up, it really is a land flowing with milk and honey.

All the best,

Rabbi Moss.

Question:

My son’s bar mitzvah is this weekend and I can’t wait. But one thing upsets me – we can’t take photos or video at the service on Shabbos. It just seems so wrong that such a milestone cannot be recorded. I understand that the Shabbos laws do not allow it, but surely videoing a bar mitzvah should be considered within the spirit of the law?

Answer:

We are very fortunate to live in times like these, when technology allows us to view any event happening anywhere in the world any time we want. Judaism embraces these advances and encourages us to use them wisely. But there is also a down side to all modern inventions.

In the case of photography, there is a risk that capturing an event can sometimes substitute experiencing the event itself. A camera can be a great thing to hide behind. Rather than actually attending an occasion, absorbing the experience and being present, we find ourselves looking for good angles, the right lighting and photogenic moments. The whole mood is different, as people behave a certain way when they are being filmed. There can sometimes be a feeling that unless photos of an event have been posted online, the event never happened.

This is not to say that photography has no place. But not on Shabbos. Shabbos is the day of real life experiences, when we feel the immediacy of what’s happening around us. Our attention is more focused, our minds more alert, our eyes more observant and our memories more acute, when we know that this scene is once in a lifetime and can never be seen again.

Rather than capturing these moments on film, capture them in your heart. Don’t wait for the video, experience things as they happen. Etch the scene in your memory, engrave it on your soul and let the real life version be yours forever.

All the best,

Rabbi Moss

Question :

My kids keep asking me theological questions I can’t answer. Yesterday my five year old insisted he wanted to know “What does G-d look like?” I had no idea what to say….

Answer:

Sometimes the best thing you can tell your child is “I don’t know.” You teach your much child more by being  open about your inability to answer a question, than if you would give a half-baked answer just to get off the hook.

If you don’t know something, but fudge an answer, you teach a child that it is more important to look like you know something than to be honest and look ignorant. That’s a bad message. Saying I don’t know teaches that it is alright not to know everything, and it’s ok to be honest about it.

Also, by saying you don’t know, it shows your child that when you do have an answer, that answer is a real one. Your answers have more credibility when you only say what you really know.

But even more importantly, by saying, “Great question, I don’t know the answer, let me try and find out,” you teach your child that learning never stops, and everyone can learn more, even a parent. This is the greatest lesson you can teach your child. You may not have given him an answer, but you will have inspired him to ask more questions.

All the Best,

Rabbi Moss

PS. My answer to your child’s question, “What does G-d look like?”: Great question, I don’t know.