Question:

My relationship is moving ahead. We certainly love each other, and we have from the start, but we do have our differences. All my friends say the main thing is that you are in love, and everything else will fall into place. But is this true?

Answer:

All you need to know about relationships you can learn from making model airplanes.

 A common mistake when making a model airplane is to start by putting glue all over the parts. That just creates a mess. The wrong bits get stuck together, wings get stuck to the floor, windows stuck on your fingers. It only complicates things when you introduce the glue too early.

 The way to build a model airplane is to first organise the parts. Make sure the pieces fit together and nothing is missing. Then gradually apply the glue, and join the various parts, piece by piece, until it starts to take shape.

 The parts may not fit perfectly at first. You may have to shave off some rough edges, or bend some parts into shape before they click. Minor imperfections can be overlooked – a dollop of glue can fix them up. With a bit of work it all comes together.

 But if you find that there are parts missing, or they don’t fit, then you don’t have what it takes to make an airplane. You can’t use glue to join mismatched pieces, and certainly not to replace missing parts. Don’t even try, just look for a better model.

 Your relationship is a model airplane. You and your partner are the pieces, and love is the glue that sticks you together. Without the binding power of love, two individuals could never become one. But that power, like glue, is indiscriminate. It must be applied carefully, because it could stick just about anything together; you can love someone who is simply not for you.

 Before opening our hearts, we must ensure we have the right pieces to build a relationship. The building blocks of a solid relationship are shared values and common purpose. Our priorities in life, beliefs and visions for the future must fit together. We can have different opinions, different tastes and different ways of expressing ourselves; as long as we can share those differences respectfully, we can become one. But if our values are not in synch, then we simply have different futures – we are not going in the same direction.

 This all may sound unromantic. The Beatles would never have made it big by singing:

“All you need is love, and shared values and commitment and a wholesome view of what a relationship really is – da dada dada.”

But they should have. Model airplanes are not exactly poetic. But what’s better – romantic dating that gets sticky, or a sticking together for a lifetime of romance?

All the best,

Rabbi Moss

Question:

 Due to my business, I travel a lot and meet many people from different religions. I have met Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims and Christians of all denominations, and each and every one believes that their religion is the one true religion and it is the right one to follow.

We can’t all be right. So how are you so convinced that you are not going to burn in hell by not following Catholicism? Or get Allah angry by not being a good Muslim? Ultimately should we pick a religion like we choose our lotto numbers; just hoping that when it all comes to an end we have made the right choice?

Best regards and may the right god be with you.

Answer:

Imagine there was one belief that Jews, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists and Hindus all accepted as true. Wouldn’t that be amazing? For these very different religions to agree on something – anything – is nothing short of a miracle. If all the major religions would concur on one divine revelation, there could be no stronger indication that this revelation is true.

Well, it exists. There is one revelation that all believe to be true. All religions agree that the Torah was given to the Jewish people at Mt Sinai. This fact is written clearly in the Christian and Muslim scriptures. And the eastern masters have veneration for the Torah and its divine wisdom, to the point that they actually send Jewish seekers back to Judaism. The Dalai Lama is known to have told Jews who come to him “Why do you come to me? Go home and study Torah!”

So all major religions believe in the divine origin of Judaism. The same cannot be said for any other belief system. This is an incredibly significant point. It means that while so many Jews walk around unsure of their beliefs, most of the world today believes that G-d gave the Torah to the Jews.

But there’s more. Believing Judaism is true does not mean negating other spiritual paths. Judaism teaches that while Judaism is the way for Jews, it is not for everyone. We are not out to convert the world to Judaism. Unlike almost every other religion, Jews do not missionize. This is because we believe not everyone needs to be Jewish.

A non-Jew can be close to G-d, go to heaven, and lead a moral and meaningful life, all the while remaining a non-Jew. Spiritual paths other than Judaism can be valid, as long as they conform to the seven basic laws for all humanity, known as the Laws of the Children of Noah (Noah being the father of all humankind). The seven laws are: do not serve idols, do not curse G-d, do not murder, do not commit acts of sexual immorality, do not steal, set up a fair justice system, and treat animals mercifully.

This is amazing. All religions believe in Judaism, and yet Judaism leaves room for other religious expressions. I am proud to be part of a belief system that can accept others, and is accepted by others. Not that this is the basis of my faith. Judaism doesn’t need outside confirmation to be acceptable. But this is a strong argument against those who think that faith is a zero-sum game. And it provides a vision for how the world can live in harmony – many paths, one divine truth.

All the best

Rabbi Moss

A lively Shabbos service filled with song and inspiration. Easy to follow and welcoming atmosphere. Followed by Kiddush.  6:30pm to 7:15pm every week. at Nefesh, 54 Roscoe St Bondi Beach

(Mincha – summertime 6:10pm, wintertime ten mins after candlelighting)