Question:

Rabbi, do you know why I don’t go to shul? I used to go, but I started to notice that in my shul, the rich people get more noticed and average people like me were overlooked. So I stopped going. If you need to be wealthy to be respected I want no part of it. Am I right or wrong?

Answer:

You are the third person this week to explain to me why they don’t go to shul. This happens to me all the time. At almost every function I attend, a wedding, kid’s birthday party or communal gathering, someone comes up to me and says, “Rabbi, do you know why I don’t go to shul….”

I have never asked anyone why they don’t go to shul. I don’t even know these people.  And yet they feel the need to share with me their particular Jewish gripe, either about the unfriendly rabbi or the arrogant cantor, the grandfather who forced them to pray or the G-d who didn’t answer their prayers.

It’s funny, I don’t feel the need to justify to my dentist why I never go to him, or the local gym why they never see me. And yet when people see a rabbi they are overcome with an urge to explain their absence from shul.

Mind you, the people who do attend shul don’t seem to have a good reason why they come. Even someone who has not been to shul in years can rock up to a service, and without any justification for their sudden appearance, they walk in, take a prayer book and sit down, as if they always belonged there.

Because they do belong there. A Jew needs no reason to be in shul. There is no explanation necessary.  Most of the time, they themselves don’t know why they started coming to shul. And so they offer no rationalization. You only need a reason not to go to shul. But to go, no reason is required. I am here because I am Jewish, and going to shul is Jewish.

This is why I love hearing those alibis people present for not being in shul. A Jew needs a reason not to connect to Judaism. Some may have pretty good reasons, like yours. But they are reasons nonetheless. A Jew needs no reason to connect to Judaism. It is who we are.

If you don’t like your shul, find another one. Until you do, all the justifications in world won’t change the fact that you’re a Jew, and a Jew wants to be Jewish.

All the best,

Rabbi Moss.

Question:

 What is the meaning behind the ritual washing of hands before meals? Was this some ancient Jewish version of hygiene?

Answer:

One of the laws of the hand washing ritual is that the hands must already be completely clean before you wash them.  You first clean the hands of any dirt, and only then do you pour water from a cup over each hand three times.

This is ridiculous: the prerequisite to washing hands is that they be clean?! The ritual washing of hands has no visible effect. It seemingly does nothing. So why do we do it?

The hand washing before meals has nothing to do with hygiene. It is not about cleanliness. It is about holiness.

Cleanliness is a physical state. By removing dirt you become clean. But holiness is an entirely spiritual concept. Holiness means a sense of something beyond, something higher, something with a higher purpose. You can be completely clean, but that doesn’t mean you’re holy.

You can have two business people who work side by side. They are both honest and good people. They are both clean. There is no visible difference between them. And yet one uses his wealth to help the poor and needy, while the other accumulates wealth purely for himself and his family. He is clean. He is not a bad man. But he is not holy.

You can have two plates of food. Both are made of healthy ingredients and prepared to the highest standards of hygiene. There is no visible difference between them. And yet one plate is kosher food, the other not. Kosher food is not healthier or cleaner. It is holy. It is prepared according to divine standards with a higher purpose in mind.

You can have two pairs of hands. Both have been cleaned and are spotless. And yet one hand has been ritually washed, the other not. There is no detectable difference between them. But these hands are holy, those are not.

Holiness means connecting to something higher. It means living with an awareness that not all dirt is visible, and we don’t always see the effect of our actions. So before engaging in physical activity, before consuming the fruit of our handiwork, we wash our hands. They may be clean already, but we must ensure that they are pure and holy too.

Question:

 Quick question: why do you dip the challah in salt?

 Quick Answer:

 In the Temple in Jerusalem, every sacrifice was accompanied by salt. The salt symbolised our indestructible connection to G-d. Just as salt never goes bad, so too G-d’s love for us never spoils. Even if we have done wrong and need to bring an offering to seek forgiveness, we are still as lovable as ever, for there is a part of the soul that always remains pure.

Without the Temple, our dinner table becomes the altar, and our meals the sacrifices. And so we dip our bread in salt. We are reminded that no matter what wrong we may have done, no matter how bad the mistakes we may have made, there is still hope for us. Even if we don’t forgive ourselves G-d forgives us. Because like salt, G-d’s love is undying.

All the best,

Rabbi Moss.

Question:

My Jewishness is making it harder for me to find love. The more I get involved in Jewish life, the less options I have for girls to date. To be honest, it is making me hesitate before becoming more observant. What should I do, take on more Judaism and limit my options, or keep my options open and put the Jewish thing on hold?

Answer:

It depends what you are looking for. If you are just after a partner, any partner that suits, then it is a simple numbers game, and the more options in front of you the better chances you have. If you have a wider pool of potential partners, the odds are higher that you will be successful in your search. In this equation, the vaguer you are about yourself, the more potential partners you will find.

But that’s only if you are merely looking for a partner. If you are looking for your soulmate it’s another story entirely.

Your soulmate is the other half of your soul, the missing part of your very being. You can only recognise your soulmate if you first get to know your own soul. When you know where you are going in life, when you are clear on your own identity, when you know who you really are, then and only then are you equipped to identify the other half of your soul.

Some people have it backwards. They think that when it comes to describing whom you’re looking for, you need a long and detailed list of specifications, but when it comes to describing who you are, you are better off being blurry and general. The opposite is true. Know yourself and your own soul. Explore your Jewish identity and become comfortable with it. You are not limiting your options, you are refining your search.

A lively Shabbos service filled with song and inspiration. Easy to follow and welcoming atmosphere. Followed by Kiddush.  6:30pm to 7:15pm every week. at Nefesh, 54 Roscoe St Bondi Beach

(Mincha – summertime 6:10pm, wintertime ten mins after candlelighting)

A lively and easy to follow Shabbos morning service with Rabbi Moss, followed by a Kiddush. Kids program during the service. 10am – 12:20pm at Nefesh, 54 Roscoe St Bondi Beach