A Wedding in War Time?

wedding in war

Question of the Week:

I am supposed to get married in two weeks, but with the war going on in Israel, we are thinking of postponing the wedding. I want to do the right thing and I am really unsure what to do. How can we celebrate at such a difficult time for our people? Can we dance as lives are being lost? Should we wait, or should we go ahead with a more subdued event…?


Go through with the wedding, and do not temper the celebration one bit. A wedding date is made in heaven. You may think you chose that date because that was when the hall was available or when your uncle from Peru could fly in for the weekend, but really it was always destined to be your special day by divine design. And if that day ends up falling in the middle of a war, you have an amazing opportunity to bring joy in a time when it is needed most.

This is not to say that you should be indifferent to what’s going on. Even at a time of celebration, we are sensitive to pain in the world. That’s why we break a glass under the Chuppah, to acknowledge that though we are coming together in joy, the world is still fragmented, and though our lives have been blessed with happiness, others are shattered in pain.

As the glass breaks, it is a time for all present to say a prayer for those who are suffering, that their pain should be healed, and that the world should reach that day when suffering will be no more.

This is a powerful thought. By you being mindful of those who are suffering at the very peak of your joy, it will actually lift those who are down. All souls are connected, and so your happiness will give a boost to those going through tough times and help them get through it.

Hopefully the fighting will be over by the time you stand beneath the Chuppah. But either way, don’t think your wedding is a triviality when Israel is at war. A Jewish wedding is the start of another Jewish family. And that is the greatest victory over those who would see us destroyed, and the best way to honour those who have fallen to protect our nation.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Moss

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